April Fools
by Chou
Summary: Sanji would be overjoyed that he woke up with Nami in his hammock...if he could remember the night before!
1. The Morning After What?

Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece, but I do own a rather large amount of its merchandise. And a straw hat, but that's a bit beside the point  
  
April Fools 

By Chou 

Chapter 1 – The Morning After What?   
  
It was morning on the open seas, the Going Merry drifting towards wherever the tide took it. Inside the men's quarters on the ship, Sanji stirred in his hammock.

Something was…weird. He had a hangover, but that wasn't it. The Straw Hat Pirate Crew had partied hard last night, celebrating…something…oh, that's right, Luffy Day. Luffy had, out of the blue, declared it Luffy Day and had ordered a party. 

Sanji tried to raise his arm to brush some hair out of his left eye, when he realized something. There was an arm pinning his down, lying across his chest. Still not fully awake, Sanji slowly turned to see who the arm's owner was. He saw. He blinked. Then, since she was still there, he blinked a few more times. 

As near as his eyes could tell, she was real. Nami-san was snuggled very tightly against his shoulder. Slowly, he worked one of his arms free and touched her hair. Yep, she was very much real. The second he touched her, she pulled closer to him and murmured "Sanji-kun…" sleepily. 

Right about then was when Sanji's brain started to shut down from shock. After a few minutes of brain inactivity, Sanji managed to think clearly enough to review his options in the current situation. One option involved getting the strongest drink he could find and throwing it down his throat, to help counter the shock. Unhappily, there was no hard liquor nearby. Another option was to faint, from joy or shock. That, however, was rather unmanly. 

Then Sanji's brain registered one very alarming piece of info: despite the fact that the angelic, lovely treasure of the sea from the gods that the wisest beings in the world granted the beautiful name Nami was lying in his bed with him, he couldn't remember doing…certain activities… that would require her presence in the bed. So, Sanji lay back and tried to think. It was hard to remember what happened last night. He recalled bits and pieces of things:  
  
Robin-chan challenging Zoro to a drinking match and winning… he still wasn't sure how that happened; Luffy and Usopp getting into the grog and yelling their heads off until they passed out, stuff like that. It was a great party, and Sanji remembered getting happily drunk off his ass on some fine wine. What he didn't remember was how Nami-san got into his bed. Needless to say, this bothered him quite a bit.   
  
He wasn't bothered so much by Nami-san's sacred presence in his bed…truth be told, he was quite pleased about that, even with his hangover. But the fact that she was in his bed, wrapped around him implied that certain…things…had happened that he had no memory of. As near as he could tell, he had had sex with a woman he considered no less than divine in her beauty and everything else last night…AND HE COULDN'T REMEMBER A THING OF IT! He would've cried, if Nami-san hadn't woken up right then.   
  
Sanji looked at her, and she at him. He blinked. She blinked. He wasn't sure what was going to happen: he half-expected instant death, or something along those lines. Imagine his surprise when he saw her blush, heard a breathless and shy, "Sanji-kun, you were…wow…" 

Sanji's shock, pride, and joy were replaced quickly with the depths of sorrow…Nami-san's words confirmed it: he had done the deed with Nami-san, and had absolutely no memory of it. How could fate be so damned cruel to him!?   
  
Sanji tried to keep the confusion that was raging through his brain off his face. Nami looked at him questioningly. "Sanji-kun? Don't you remember?" 

Sanji looked at her, his gut going cold. "Nami-san, I, I must've drunk more than I thought: I can't remember anything about last night!" 

Nami's eyes flashed with hurt surprise, and she hid her face in the pillow.  
  
She spoke in a hurt tone, muffled by the pillows. "Oh…I see how it is. So all those words you said last night, all those" --a blush-- "things you did, you don't remember? Ha! A likely story." Nami's voice was the epitome of hurt surprise, and it broke Sanji's heart.

Sanji was panicking. This morning, which should've been the happiest in his life, was going downhill fast. He reached over to Nami's shoulders to try and comfort her. "Honestly, Nami-san, whatever I said last night, I meant! I just can't REMEMBER any of it!" 

Without hesitation, Nami shook him off and got out of the bed. With her back to him, she spoke in as cold a tone as she could manage. "Fine. I see how it is. Goodbye, Sanji." She knew without looking back that Sanji's jaw was probably on the floor, so she kept her eyes forward as she walked through the door of the men's quarters, slamming it behind her. 

Sanji leaped out of his cot, still wearing his boxers, socks, and oddly enough, his shirt. "Nami-san~! Wait~!" He ran after her, and barreled through the door, intent on proving his innocence.   
  
It was the laughter that stopped him short. The crew minus Zoro, who was sleeping on the deck, was waiting for him, Nami included. They were laughing their asses off, even the usually calm Nico. Finally Nami calmed herself to the point of being able to speak, and smiled at the increasingly confused Sanji. "April Fools, Sanji-kun!" 

Sanji's jaw hit the floor. He pointed a finger at Nami, and tried to sputter out a sentence. "Nami-san. You. We. Didn't? What?" He took a deep breath, trying to get out a complete sentence. "What the hell is going on?!" 

Nico smiled at him, and spoke, perfectly calm. "Well, Sanji, you were very drunk and flirty last night. Mostly very drunk. So, I set up this prank on you. Today is April Fools Day, so it all fits, wouldn't you agree?"   
  
Sanji's head tilted down, his hair covering both his eyes for once. Eventually, he looked up and grinned. "Yeah, that was a good one. I'm gonna go get some pants on, and make breakfast. Call you when it's ready." With that, he sauntered off back into the men's quarters. 

Luffy and Usopp wandered off still laughing at the look on Sanji's face when he came through the door. Nami went to go put on some fresh clothes. As such, only Nico heard the sound of Sanji kicking something in the room very hard. Then he calmly emerged to prepare breakfast. 

Nico smiled. So far, everything was going according to plan. 

Author's Notes: What is Nico's sinister plot, and what ill does it bode for our heroes?! Or is it a good plot, that'll bring warm fuzzy feelings to our heroes? Find out in the exciting next chapter! Poor Sanji, it hasn't been his day so far…


	2. Something's Cooking in the Kitchen

April Fools  
by Chou

Chapter 2 – Something's Cooking in the Kitchen  
  
Sanji was in the kitchen cooking breakfast for the crew. He was scrambling eggs at the moment, but the usual concentration he put into cooking was different than usual. On the outside, his face was intent on making sure the eggs were scrambled just right. On the inside, nothing could be further from his mind.  
  
_Damn it. I'm an idiot. A damn idiot. What was I thinking!? Of course Nami-san wouldn't be in my bed for that reason…I'm just a silly cook who chases skirts. Damn it, how could they take my feelings so lightly!   
  
_With a flourish, he finished beating the eggs and placed them on the stove to cook. He started slicing fresh bacon from a haunch of pork.  
  
_So damn stupid…of course they don't take me seriously. I run around like a love sick fool, and dote on Nami-san like a servant.  But how else do I show Nami-san that she's not just another pretty face to me?  
  
_He prepared the fruit dishes for breakfast, finished the bacon and eggs, took some biscuits out from the oven, made coffee and tea and laid out the silverware, all while his mind was churning.  
_  
What else do I have to do? I've fought for her, lost blood for her, waited on her hand and foot…what else does she want from me?   
  
_Sanji's train of thought was interrupted by the kitchen door flying open, and the various members of the crew bustling in. 

"Oi! Sanji! I want meat!" Luffy shouted about as loud as he could. Pushing aside his thoughts, Sanji forced a smile on his face and turned to serve the crew breakfast.   
  
"Nami-san~! Robin-chan~! You're looking radiant this morning!" Sanji turned on the gushing full force. He served Nami and Robin their breakfasts like they were offerings to goddesses. To the rest of the crew, he set down their plates with as little courtesy as he could manage. After all, they weren't girls, or starving, so they got the bare minimum of courtesy.   
  
"More coffee, Nami-san?" Sanji refilled her empty mug. "Want more eggs, Robin-chan?" Not waiting for a response, he shoveled more eggs onto Nico's plate.  
  
"Hey, hey, what about us? There's no cream and sugar for our coffee! Why do they get some?" Usopp's annoyed voice came from behind Sanji. He was waving at his cup with a sour expression on his face.  
  
Sanji turned, irritation written on his face. "You're not satisfied with my delicious black coffee? I don't see anyone _making_ you drink it."  
  
Zoro chose that moment to sarcastically butt in. "Hey, Usopp, at least we have actual mugs this time, instead of glorified shot glasses."   
  
Sanji turned on Zoro with hooded eyes. "Hey, you bastard, I'll have you know those "glorified shot glasses" are heirlooms from the ancient kingdom of Tatakaka. Most people would pay good money to even look at them, you uncultured bastard." Sanji dearly hoped that Nami wouldn't jump in with the fact that there _was_ no Tatakaka.  
  
Chopper turned around to look in awe at the "heirlooms" sitting rather unceremoniously in the sink. Usopp huffed. "Liar! There's no such place as Tatakaka!"   
  
Luffy jumped in around a mouthful of meat. "Hey, Sanji, I thought you bought those at a bargain store in the last port. Remember? I caught you on the way out, and you told me that you didn't want Zoro's spit making your good glasses dirty anymore." Zoro almost spit out his drink. Zoro and Usopp both looked accusingly at Sanji, who looked ready to kill the oblivious Luffy. The kitchen erupted in accusations and taunts.  
  
"Dirty your glasses! Stinking cook! What's dirty about me!"  
"See! I knew you were lying! I knew it! I can smell a lie from a mile away!"   
"When's the last time you even bathed you damn swordsman! You don't even wash your damn clothes unless we steal them at night and wash them!"  
"You did WHAT!? Who said you could go steal my damn clothes!"  
"Well, they were kinda starting to smell, Zoro…"  
"Who asked you!? And you, you stinking chef, don't ever touch my damn clothes again! I don't want them getting all sissy infected!"  
"Sissy-WHAT!? Who's a sissy, you smelly bastard! Just because I actually wash myself more than once a year! "  
"Hey, can I have some more meat?"  
  
And so on and so forth.  
  
Later, the crew had all wandered off, leaving Sanji with the dishes as usual. He was in a vastly better mood than before breakfast. Taunting Zoro always made him feel better. The small peek he got down Nami-san's shirt when he poured her coffee didn't hurt either. Sanji wasn't usually the type to do something like that, but he figured that it settled the score from the prank this morning. Whatever the reason, his mood had considerably improved with that small peek of Heaven. So he washed and dried the dishes, whistling a little jazz tune to himself as he did so.  
  
"Sanji-kun?" Nami's voice made him nearly drop the plate he was washing.   
  
"Nami-san?" He spun, and recovered his composure. "What are you doing here? Do you need anything?" He absentmindedly dried the plate in his hand while he talked.  
  
Nami smiled at him. "I just wanted to make sure there were no hard feelings. About this morning, and all."   
  
Sanji was touched. It wasn't like Nami-san to apologize for playing a trick on anyone. He decided that gushing would convince her that everything was normal, more than being serious would. After all, the more emotion he showed, the more sincere he must be, right? "Don't worry, Nami-san! Nothing you could do could ever diminish my all-powerful love for you~!" That should do it, he thought.  
  
Nami's smile grew a little wider, her voice a little sweeter. "If that's true, why did you kick your chest of clothes into splinters? Hmm, Sanji-kun?" She looked at him expectantly.  
  
Sanji was completely taken aback. How did she know? He had cleaned up the mess, and everything, no evidence. "How did…how did you know that?"  
  
She winked at him. "Ohh, a little bird told me. So if everything's ok, why'd you kick the chest, Sanji-kun?" Sanji's mind raced for an answer. Nami's expectant smile distracting him wasn't making it any easier.  
  
"Uh…it…had termites! Big, ugly termites! And God forbid that they bother you and Robin-chan, so I kicked the chest apart and got them all!" Sanji hoped that convinced her. He hated lying to Nami-san, but what could he tell her? None of it was really her fault, she didn't deserve to know how frustrated he had been.   
  
Nami simply arched her eyebrow at him, and at that moment, Sanji knew that he hadn't convinced her worth a damn. She looked at him intently. "Sanji-kun, you weren't upset because you didn't actually sleep with me, were you?"   
  
Sanji thought this over. On one hand, letting her think that he was shallow was a horrible thing to face. On the other hand, letting her know the real reason, that he had been pissed they took his feelings so lightly…well, that would be mortally embarrassing. In other words, he was screwed either way. Sanji sighed. "Nami-san…it wasn't that. Not that I'd complain, mind you…anyway, the problem was that you guys take my feelings so lightly. When I profess my love for you, get all heart eyed, y'know, all that…that's not just me chasing skirt. I'm serious about it. All of it." He lowered his eyes like a criminal waiting for a judge to pass sentence on him. Nami was quiet, not saying a word, but he didn't dare look up.   
  
What happened next was something Sanji wouldn't have considered in a million years. With a quickness usually reserved for picking pockets, Nami grabbed Sanji by both his tie and one of the straps of his apron, and pulled him forward for a kiss. And this was no quick peck on the cheek, either; it was a full-blown, breath-taking lip lock that made Sanji feel like he was both floating and melting at the same time.   
  
Nami would've pulled back eventually, had Sanji not gotten over his surprise and started to return the kiss. So they stood there in the kitchen,  joined at the mouth and oblivious to the world.  
  
Nico peeked in the porthole at the two crewmates making a rather energetic effort to knock each other's tonsils out. She smiled, a little smile of victory, and left the pair. Her plan, which had started with the prank, had been to get the two together. It wasn't hard…Sanji obviously loved her, and if Nami whispering his name in her sleep was any indication, she loved him as well. She considered it her good deed of the day, even if it did involve trickery and double crossing. So she sat with her book on the deck, and enjoyed her triumph.   
  


Author's Notes:   
  
Well, this is my first romance fic. Did you like it? I probably won't be writing a romance fic in a while, since I plan to start a grand action epic of One Piece ficcage! It'll have Marines, and swashbucklers, and cool fighting, and should be great! Anyway, once again, I hope you enjoyed my first foray into the world of romantic fics :)   
  
As always, thanks to everyone who reviewed, and especially thanks to Shiru-san, who beta read this fic and whose lines I seem to be subconsciously using in my fic (see the third thought chunk from Sanji). Then again, she's a better SanjiXNami writer than me, so I guess even having one line like she does is a good thing :)  
  
Also, this fic is dedicated to Cland-niisan, since it has Nico in it, and Cland loves Nico :)  
  
NEW NOTES:  
  
- I'd like to address the various reviews asking me to "complete" the story…err, see the thing is, the story's done. It was always meant to be two chapters. Sorry.  
  
- Thanks to BluePard for pointing out that Sanji said that he doesn't wash very often. It's been fixed.


End file.
